Doing What Matters Because It Matters to You: 15 Ways to Reclaim Simple Joy

What are you striving for? Money? Esteem? Acceptance? Love? Have you been running on these hamster wheels but still can’t understand why you are on them? Me, too. 

Carrying a tune in a bucket is impossible. So are all the other ways to carry a tune (at least for me). I squeaked out sounds in the elementary choir and junior high school orchestra, but never a song. Still, music affects me in ways that nothing else does. It can change the air in a room and stir creativity–it can lift spirits or remember a tender memory. Music is amazing in all its graceful ways. Despite this, I let it go not for a time--but for years. Instead, nonfiction audiobooks and podcasts about productivity and habits filled my ears and time. Being productive was important, right? I had so much to get done. We all have so much to get done. But if I looked at what was accomplished, very little of it matters today. 

At that time (and today, more often than I’d like to admit), I didn’t have a clear picture of what truly mattered. Despite this unknowing, I continued to study productivity to do more of what didn’t matter. Speed cleaning, for instance. Pointless. 

This productivity study and podcast binging pushed out music and conversation. Instead of listening to a favorite song or the radio on my way to work, I studied and learned. But that wasn’t enough. I needed to increase my productivity to the ultimate level of fruitfulness. So, instead of reading fiction, I read books that would help me clean like a Ninja, budget effortlessly, declutter within the weekend, and build a habit or seven. Exhausting. And this much information overload didn’t let many of those ideas soak in or become the habits I was trying to make. And worse than this, fiction books were my dearest friends, and I turned my back on them to read books I couldn’t remember weeks later. Facepalm.

Striving for measurable outcomes (insert your SMART goal here) is part of our current cultural hype. I wholeheartedly signed up and drank the Kool-Aid, only to find something even more nefarious had occurred. By chasing the gods of grind, life began to feel dull. I forgot the importance of simple everyday pleasures.

Was there a time when you had more time and freedom? What made you happy then? In those years of singleness, where only me, myself, and I worried about me, myself, or I; I knew what I enjoyed–spicy foods, dancing, spending hours in a bookstore, or grabbing a last-minute “deal” flight to see a friend and sleep on their couch over the weekend. Even as a young married couple, bike rides, antique trips, and bad golf games were delights. But as time progressed and children and responsibilities grew, it got harder to see what is beautiful in life beyond all that is useful. I forgot that the verve in life requires time to stop and smell the roses. I lived a life of temperance in so many ways. But when burrowing into the deluge of the positivity, productivity, and profitability gospel, I found a choir of false prophets slowly sucking away my daily joys.

As a result, I had forgotten the simple pleasures of good fiction books, potted flowers, trips to quaint shops where beautiful stationery and teas can be gathered, and the power of music to intensify a mood, demure it, or change a heart stance. My unproductive productivity resulted in a less interesting, less engaged, and sadly less joyful life. 

My 5 a.m. crammed-to-the-rim day may have looked productive to an onlooker, but productivity, like looks, can be deceiving to the beholder and those beholden. Since my motivation is to have a calmer presence during the day, that kind of morning is unproductive and will likely move me away from a happier existence. Instead, starting the morning with a cup of something hot and watching the birds flit in the yard seems to matter much more at this point in my life. What matters? The people in my life, serving others, and giving my soul time to catch up with this body (that has run in frantic circles for so long) have taken on new importance. 

With so many varied personalities, you and I may find joyful delights in many different ways. But if you, too, have forgotten how to enjoy simple pleasures that make life more interesting and palatable on hard days, here are 15 simple ways to incorporate some verve into your life. 

1. Get a recommendation for the best fiction book friends have read lately and borrow a copy from the library.

2. Plant a seed and nurture it as it grows in your kitchen window (especially pleasurable during the winter months).

3. Take a walk outside without any digital distractions and take in all the wonder of your city or countryside. 

4. Wear an outfit or piece of jewelry that makes you feel pretty (this doesn’t require shopping outside of your own closet)

5. List things that delight you and choose one to partake in this week.

6. Give yourself an entire morning or afternoon to bake or cook something special (if you have littles at foot, have them help or pretend to help).

7. Turn on your favorite song(s) and play on repeat.

8. Paint your toenails a bright, happy color, or do something else that makes you feel special.

9. Spend time in a place you love–a museum, park, shop, cafe, nature–that you haven’t been to and miss

10. Learn about something or someone that excites you just because you can.

11. Pick up an old hobby–dust off your paint set or water skis - you do you! 

12. Take a bath with all the salts and scrubs waiting for an ordinary day like today.

13. Use the good dishes and cloth napkins, eat at the dining room table, and burn the candles you have been saving–today is the perfect day for it. 

14. Set everything aside and play. Play with a child, pet, partner, or friend. 

15. Dance or sing (nobody is watching; if they are, ask them to join you).

    
    

Permit yourself to rediscover all the small, significant things that matter because they fill you up and make you and your days brighter. When we allow ourselves to set alight hope in pursuing pleasant, life-giving tasks, others will bask in our radiance. 

It’s okay to slow down and let things go to pick up things that make you happier. In the end, it’s what matters to you that truly matters!